Thought-Provoking question 11.

#199: What’s been on your mind most lately?

It’s college that’s been on my mind the most.

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I’m an incoming senior in college. I have narrowed down my course choices to three: broadcasting, history, or comparative literature. I love history, I really do. I want to study until I get a PhD. I want to travel, research, or teach. I feel like I’m happy with that.

Two days ago, my mom asked me about what I would do with history. I told her what I’d do. She told me about how I wouldn’t earn lots of money from that. She suggested medicine, law, and engineering, some courses that would let me earn lots of money.

I told her I didn’t want any of that.

I’ve looked for something I would love for the past three years, and I’m applying for college this June. Here she is, telling me at this point in time that I wouldn’t make much out of it. What kind of support is that?

I could care less about the money! I’m sticking to what Alan Watts said (see my post about it: https://citizenofworlds.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/what-if-money-was-no-object/) and I don’t want to turn back on my choice now. I want to do something that will make me happy, and it’s history.

I don’t want to look at any more options at the moment, because it’s going to make me doubt myself all the more.

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Thought-Provoking Question 10.

#2: Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

I sometimes compare myself to my second older sister.

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I always compare myself to my first older sister, who is coming home in exactly two weeks from two years of pre-university in Canada. She’s a full scholar, and that was IB. The question being asked now isn’t “always”, but rather, “sometimes”.

My second older sister is the only one in our family who doesn’t look like us. The three of us have genes from my mother’s side, while she is the only one who has genes from my father’s side. She’s the only white one in the family (aside from my dad) with small eyes, but that also means she’s pretty.

I always envied that aspect of her. I still do now. Now that I think of it, she also has great taste in music and fashion, and she really loves surfing and Harry Potter. She has lots of friends while I have none and she socializes easily while I don’t (I mentioned that, right?).

I guess I should stop comparing myself to her. That’s her, anyway: somewhat selfish and quite proud. No wonder she’s a Slytherin. God made me this way, God made her that way, so I should be happy with myself…

… But I can never stop doubting myself, you know. I work on it but I fail.

Nakakainggit, nakakahiya, nakakalungkot, at nakakaiyak.

Thought-provoking question 9.

#49: Where do you find inspiration?

I find inspiration in the weather.

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I love it when it’s stormy. Everything’s just perfect: there’s wind, rain, lightning, thunder, grey skies, heavy clouds. It’s like the problems of the people of this world are let go. It’s a form of release.

I love it when it’s sunny. There are blue skies, sometimes without any clouds in sight. The sun is shining brightly and the wind is blowing. It is a time of happiness, a time of bliss, a time to appreciate the good things in life. It is a time to forget the problems in life and simply enjoy the good things it offers.

I know some people may find inspiration in events, people, animals, even inanimate things. I find inspiration in the weather because it greatly affects (and reflects) my mood. The weather is a beautiful thing usually grumbled about, but it makes me smile.

I would look forward to November to February for the cold and sunny days, to June to October for the storms, to March to May for the heat. The thing is,  the weather is quite unpredictable these days, but I still love it. No matter how strange it may be nowadays, it still inspires me.

It has inspired me to start taking our environment seriously. It has helped me to appreciate this beautiful place that God created for all of us. It has moved me to take care of this grand place called home.

Seeing things in a new light.

New things make you feel like you’re a new person, right? They make you see things in a different light. They can turn your whole life around.

They make you feel brand new.

I had to get new glasses today, since I’ve been living with broken ones for the past two months. Those old ones were only seven months old, and my dad felt like it was a waste for me to buy new lens (since it was only the frame that was broken). Those lenses didn’t even last a year, and my dad has used the same glasses for years.

We went to the optical shop near our house, and I got my eyes checked. Even for me, it was a bit of a waste since the grade didn’t change and it was only the angles for the astigmatism that changed (I don’t remember the exact term, but the doctor mentioned angles). But as I got those new glasses and tried them on, I felt like I was a new person. I’m not kidding. It’s lighter than my old ones, very flexible, and the fit is perfect.

I guess it’s the same with God. Sometimes you would need retreats and recollections, and once you’re done, you are spiritually high and you feel brand new. You’re back to God, and it feels great. Your life has changed and you see things in a different light.

I saw God in my new glasses today, and I thank Him for making me see His creation with a clearer vision.

Thought-provoking Question 8.

#21: If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

I would teach history.

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I am fascinated by the past: How people lived without technology, how our countries have different cultures and traditions, why names of countries have changed, basically how we arrived at this moment in our lives.

I like opening my mind and heart by learning about someone’s roots. It teaches me to judge less and accept that everyone has their own views about life in itself. Even though I may have my own standards and criticisms for other people, I should know the whole story as to how they came to be that way. 

I like how people think that this universe was made by different gods or goddesses, how they influence humans’ lives, the back stories to certain beliefs or festivals or items. 

I like how people acknowledge and accept their roots, continuing to do what is good and forgetting about the wrong things their ancestors did. In today’s society, people may tend to do the opposite, like bringing feuds from the past into the present since they haven’t gotten over the issue several years ago. But that’s not everyone.

I’d like to tell my future students not to discriminate people based on their past, like how Asians or blacks may still be discriminated in some parts of the world, infamous people are used to generalize a whole race, etc.

But I think that the main reason as to why I’d like to teach history is to tell them that history is very important because we’re living in it. We are making our future, no matter how small or how big your deeds are.

This moment is now history.

I saw God in learning how to drive.

It’s amazing how God guides us. He knows exactly what we want, from the reasons we fan(guy/girl) down to the deepest secrets that we have kept hidden in our hearts. He knows what is good and bad for us, and He knows all of us personally. That’s the beauty of our God, and I have seen that in learning how to drive today.

I was learning how to drive our Mini Cooper, since I can’t reach the brakes (and see well) in big cars. It was difficult at first, trying to remember how to do everything, but eventually I was able to drive three or so kilometers back to our house.

In that process, I saw how God guides us to do the right things, leading us to places and occasions where we will be happy. Sometimes there would be bad times, but that’s the bumpy road leading to something perfect.

It may not make sense to you, but I saw God in that event.

Where did you see God today?

Thought-provoking question 7.

#97: How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words?

It is doing what is right, true, and just, even though there are no rules or boundaries.

~

People are so tired of rules. They want freedom. What are they going to do once they’re “free”: take in drugs, have sex anywhere, kill anyone on the road, do improper things in certain occasions? That’s what a lot of people I know would do.

Seriously, what has happened to “doing what is right even when no one’s watching”? It’s probably somewhere in the trash bin now, and only a few people would actually stick to that saying. It makes me sad, really.

I hope that more people would do what is right, just, true, and peaceful, because when more people are influenced by this good trait, then we’d all get what we’re hoping for: world peace.

“Peace isn’t the absence of negatives but the presence of positives.” -Unknown