#2: Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
I sometimes compare myself to my second older sister.
I always compare myself to my first older sister, who is coming home in exactly two weeks from two years of pre-university in Canada. She’s a full scholar, and that was IB. The question being asked now isn’t “always”, but rather, “sometimes”.
My second older sister is the only one in our family who doesn’t look like us. The three of us have genes from my mother’s side, while she is the only one who has genes from my father’s side. She’s the only white one in the family (aside from my dad) with small eyes, but that also means she’s pretty.
I always envied that aspect of her. I still do now. Now that I think of it, she also has great taste in music and fashion, and she really loves surfing and Harry Potter. She has lots of friends while I have none and she socializes easily while I don’t (I mentioned that, right?).
I guess I should stop comparing myself to her. That’s her, anyway: somewhat selfish and quite proud. No wonder she’s a Slytherin. God made me this way, God made her that way, so I should be happy with myself…
… But I can never stop doubting myself, you know. I work on it but I fail.
Nakakainggit, nakakahiya, nakakalungkot, at nakakaiyak.